anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
