Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
