There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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