Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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