Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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