he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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