dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
