Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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