2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pants are for mortals
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
