But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
