Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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