I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
