I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
