bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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