all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize