Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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