Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
