i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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