shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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