dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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