i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
