My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
