I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
