Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
