so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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