I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
