yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're too hungover to prance.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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