so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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