She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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