So drunk its hurt
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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