Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
