Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
