oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
