Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
