I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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