i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize