Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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