I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
