Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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