Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
