I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
