We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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