i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
