The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
