It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
