You're my little dorito
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
worst night to have a conscience
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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