worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize