The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
