tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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