hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
