i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
