The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
soo... how was my night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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