In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am one with the molecules
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
