you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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