Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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