I cannot find my penis.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
