Why are handjobs necessary in class?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
