I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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