Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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