New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize