remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want nice things and good sex
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
