i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
