Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
