Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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